If Barack Obama had a city, it would be Detroit.
— Random Moron at FB.
If I didn’t talk to myself, no one would listen.
— Aggie, when Little One asked why she was muttering.
Thank you, Obama. If ever I falter, if ever I waiver, if ever I wonder what I’m doing down here in the ass-end of the internet drawing stuff on people’s faces and cracking dick jokes, I will remember this. I do it because you don’t like it. Because you can’t control it and it isn’t kind to you. Mine is a small, silly, anonymous ‘fuck you’ to you and the whole the ruling class, but it’s mine and it’s persistent and it’s right out in public.
— Stoaty Weasel, on why the President hates the New Media.
“Oddly enough, the people calling for monetary sacrifices are the same ones who plan to receive the money.” — Steve Goddard
“I can’t take the time away from my stabbiness to make stabby dolls. It’s a vicious circle.” — LC Aggie Sith.
On March 1, the day after I hit 4 million views, and two days before Soylent Green’s 4th anniversary, the WordPress code monkeys suspended the blog–for pr@n, I found out an hour ago. In light of that, I present the following, which I just pulled from my dashboard:
Fuck these clowns — Soylent Green
Can’t teach quantum mechanics without the ninjas. I know, I saw it tried once and it wasn’t pretty.
–Veeshir QOTD, found here.
“We’re not put here on Earth to see what we can do without!” — Wally, whose tail is told here.
“A subsequent search also revealed a cellphone, a ’69 Buick Skylark, and a Japanese soldier who didn’t know WWII was over yet.” — Wyatt at SYLG
“These guys (Climate Scientists) are so incompetent, they have to cheat to prove a circular argument.” — Soylent Green
Someone recently told me they don’t eat peanut butter because the FDA permits it to legally contain a certain amount of insect parts. This person might not want to buy a can of Silkworm Pupas. The amount of bugs in here is downright wacky.
The silkworm pupas gave off a subtle, nutty aroma. Not strong like my nuts after a weekend with no shower, just more like their usual, end-of-the-day twang.
These little guys only cost me 79 cents. That’s a mere 0.7 cents per pupa. Quite the bargain… for a can of dead, turd-like moths… in their own gravy… why God… WHY??
The pile of moist cocoons looked so sad sitting there (like so many piles of moist cocoons will) that I decided to cheer them up. Make ’em feel fancy! One doily, some frilly toothpicks and a few dry heaves later, and I’d say mission accomplished!
– Steve, from “Steve! Don’t Eat It! Volume 9“
Yes, this one is a little long, but so was MacBeth. Get over it. – LK
“The only thing weirder than me drinking breast milk, is the fact that milk is coming out of my wife’s chest in the first place. It sure as hell didn’t do that when I met her. I’m telling you, the whole thing is lunacy. I love my wife, but does she really have to be such a mammal?”
– Steve from Steve! Don’t Eat It! Volume 5
This is ten times funnier if you have personal experience in this area, and it is hilarious to begin with
“My philosophy is that if you want to efficiently get the nutrients out of leafy greens, eat a rabbit. Or a cow. They’ve already processed out the stuff your body doesn’t need.”
– Rabid Alien over at Sithy Things
Said some time back – it remembered itself because leafy greens are in my future… I am sure of it. RA denied origination rights but that was the first I’d ever heard it.
“Blaming the prince of fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools, such as those who made him their President.” — from a commenter in a Prague paper, found here.
“She looks like her mother, and The Mayor means that in the cruelest way possible. If she wanted to complete the Hilary look, she might want to consider holding a pair of testicles in her claw…The last time The Mayor saw a head that round it had a candle in it.” — The Mayor
“When you’re making a necklace out of rope and house paint, it’s time to stop crafting. Either that, or make it a few feet longer and throw one end over the ceiling fan.” — Helen Killer at Regretsy
“I know there are a lot of more important issues out there than dog-eating, but Obama isn’t addressing those either.” — Frank J.
 | Steamboat McGoo on Stoaty Wisdom |
| Steamboat McGoo on Stoaty Wisdom |
 | LC Aggie Sith on Mommy Wisdom |
| Steamboat McGoo on Mommy Wisdom |
 | Steamboat McGoo on Kleptocrat Wisdom |
Nazi Surf Kittens Must Die 